Tuesday, December 13, 2011 at 1:45 pm
Holo Family!
Times moves too fast; I only have one week left in the MTC! The time I've spent in this super-spiritually charged boot camp has been incredible and trying. I think one of the hardest parts of the MTC is not having the benefit of focusing wholly on others (I'd deluded myself into thinking this would just come once I was set apart as a missionary, or something)--it's all about training yourself to be able to discern the needs of others and listen to the Spirit, but then there are 6 hours of class every day, devotionals, firesides, meetings and more. These are all WONDERFUL things, but even with 6 investigators I seem to have too much time to worry about myself, doubt myself, work on myself, and such. I guess I need to improve a lot, work a lot, in this area. I know that I made the effort, control it, so I just need to take control, lose myself a bit more. There are still the elders and sisters around that I can focus on, no?
That being said, I really do still love the MTC. These keyboards are not my favorite to use and spell check is silly so please forgive my errors. Anyway, do I get tired of food here? Yes. But they change up the menu every day so I can be adventurous and try those mediocre meals. Wow, does that sound petty and unappreciative, or what? Look, it's incredible that the cafeteria is able to feed so many people 3 times a day, with DIFFERENT meals. How awesome right? And not everyone is as accustomed as I am to eating 5-star food daily. I am thankful for the variety and the hard work.
I leave the MTC at about 4 am on Thursday, Dec. 20. Yup. It'll rock. Everyone will LOVE being around me that early in the morn. Sister Waterworth and the Elders in our district leave to the airport at the same time Sister Horne and I do, but obviously we'll be saying farewell at our separate terminals. Boo. All of our elders, plus one of our companeros (or companeras?--I don't speak Spanish). There's another district of elders going to the NYUM, but we haven't met them, so hopefully they're swell. I'm sure they are. Oh, and I'd probably fore go sending letters to the MTC after...Thursday? Yeah.
This weekend I had a minor breakdown after teaching our teacher, Brother Shumway, in his investigator guise, Matt...It was a TERRIBLE lesson, the result of a kind of unstructured lesson plan, plus I was holding my silence a bit to give one of my companions more opportunity to speak...We just didn't get to "Matt's" needs; we didn't teach a person, we taught a botched-up lesson. Thank the heavens it happened in the MTC! We learned a lot from that experience, but it was a humbling and scary moment when I thought I didn't have what it takes to do this work as it needs to be done, the Lord's way. Don't worry, the next day was fabulous, and the next and so on. It was a great experience for me to have. A bombed lesson. All you've to do is pick up your feet, shake your head free of self-doubt, and pray for strength and focus, and ta-da! You're back! Sis. Murray, our other teacher, always asks us what miracles we've seen in the past day--evidence of God's hand in our lives--and I count the day after the disaster as a miracle. Heavenly Father wants us to succeed in this work. I mean, for Pete's sake, it's our duty to do it! As we do it the Lord's way, we will be strengthened, we will be blessed, we will be supported.
Let me say, it's such a blessing to teach with a companion. Well, I really have two companions, but it's reassuring to have someone speak up when you falter. On the other hand, it's proven more and more to be a struggle to teach with 3 sisters in a companionship. They are both wonderful, strong, and great assets, but having 3 of us means that we have to be conscious of giving time to each during lessons--a pain, no? It's somethings I've struggled getting used to, especially because I tend to dominate the lessons. Sis Horne is really great at empathizing with the investigator (she can really use the waterworks of womanhood to effective and spiritual advantage); Sis Waterworth is really great at coming up with analogies and stories that are applicable to the principles we're teaching and the investigator. Sis Smith can teach the facts and summarize...Uh...I know, I'm a great asset. Hahahahahaha. I'm working on it, and I'll improve. This is a place of miracles.
Sometimes I just want to take a nap. Ha! There's no time for it. I am on the Lord's time and how fantastic that is! I am truly blessed. I went to a musical fireside by BYU Men's chorus on Sunday--yes, they came to the MTC!!! And it was incredible. So rejuvenating. It's hard to be without music.
My very first ZL's, Elder Fonda and Elder Openshaw, left yesterday to NM. It was sad. I think they're great missionaries. Oh! Elder Zach Fonda (I'd the list of ZL names because I'm a Coordinating Sister) is from Jacksonville, FL! Does Marques know the family? The missionary?
Mom, I'd love for Bishop Beardall to hear of my doings--forward on! Those blessed Missionary Prep classes did wonders for my time in the MTC--really. I would've had serious anxiety within the first few days had I not been blessed with an awesome teacher and awesome partners. Josh and Bosten will be GREAT. I've no doubt about it. They already are!
Love!!!!!
Sister Smith
(Re-posted by her momma)
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